Where are you at in your relationship? Single? Dating? Serious? Are you happy? Not happy? Do you know why?

For as long as I can remember, I’ve had this story in my head “I cannot have a great relationship” “Relationships never work out for me” “He’s going to leave” “It can’t possibly last…” And on, and on it went.

I grew up in a family with chaos, fighting, arguing, verbal/physical abuse, shaming, guilting, etc. This went on until I was 13 when my parents divorced. I remember all I wanted was this perfect ideal relationship for myself. I wanted love, kindness, compassion, respect, to have fun, and to be seen! The kind of relationship I always wanted my parents to have. The kind any kid growing up would have loved to have. 

I remember in my teen years wanting so badly to find that right guy who would be into me, ask me to get married, and everything would just be so perfect because of how badly I wanted it. That sort of happened, I got married at 19, and of course it didn’t work out.

Thinking back to all of the relationships I’ve been in, I’ve either said directly to the guy, or to myself, “this isn’t going to work out because relationships never work out for me.” I actually, fully went through relationships with these thoughts in my head!!!

My last two (longest) relationships it was the guy who said me “You’re going to leave me”. And I did. Words have so much meaning and power!